Thursday, January 19, 2017

Heroes replays

Heroes RK 57-64 and RL 0-20 are now available.

This is only the beginning of the workload that I have been tackling, but I figured I'd post 'em now.

Tuesday, January 10, 2017

jock excel sheet

yup, I released diablo 3. Suspend your anuses and tighten your belts, this was just like I knew it was going to be with a few surprises to top it off.

Thursday, January 5, 2017

lawful neutral conversations

+ Coffee Hour 8 (now also on gameproc)
+ Edu 7-3
+ D&DLard9
+ Apex U Dev Seg1 (referred to as A-U-D-Seg1 for identification over the Sc2 videos)

Saturday, December 31, 2016

happy new rear!!!!

start off the new rear fresh with a FRENCH COMPILATION built from mucky's stream of our wc3 events!!!

Thursday, December 29, 2016


Well... the end of 2016 is at hand.

What a dreadful year it has been. The worst in productivity since I started, with only a few LP releases. I pushed out heroes videos, educationals, some misc work and opened the D&D section, but as a whole this year hit me the hardest in productivity in a way even the dread year of 2014 didn't quite reach.

December has been quite a busy month. Slowly getting the mantrain huffing and puffing along in the blind hope 2017 doesn't turn out to be a shitshow. Something is on my side, though - the weather. For the first time in nearly 20 years we are seeing snow, and quite a lot of it, nearly 1/4 a foot twice this month. Half the month has seen marginal ice on the roads and driveways, which would create complications for anyone hoping to move - like a landlord looking to sell their house so they can move to Surrey, for example. We've heard nothing from them for a while, and the painting gear still sits unused in the garage. One can only hope.

The fear of homelessness and the devastating consequences to follow an eviction in this insane financial climate is the largest contributor to the loss of energy and productivity in 2016. I spent almost the entire year completely incapacitated by fear and despair. I slept most of the time away on the floor, an act that has severely damaged my already injured spine, leading to the month of November being unbearably painful to the point I was almost ready to go to the hospital - something I never consider in the wake of the malicious mistreatment I've been subjected to in the past. However, I managed to slowly recover in December and after careful adjustments to my chair and sleeping I am sort of halfway to normal.

What awaits is going to be a grueling, agonizing wait amidst a battle of atrition and determination. The goal is to focus entirely on my work and try to forget about the impending eviction. The Real Estate said they would gladly find us a house, but also informed us the prices have risen by over $1k since we started renting here a mere two and a half years ago. The prices only continue to rise as the government withholds housing projects to nurse the inflation so they can take tax cuts from sales. In the event of an eviction the only possible answer is to scrap the last things we have yet to throw out and find an apartment that takes pets, where I would be forced to cease casting and internet related activities. Neither of us want that, but it's the only possible outcome - if even. No apartments are available anywhere, either, and pets complicate matters. Eviction now means total disaster. New years is going to be terrifying, but if we make it through January maybe we'll make it to summer.

In the wake of intense self-reflection and soulsearching, I have decided to try to return to Unreal 4 and attempt Apex in it once more. Although I am aiming for a CGI project, once HKS has a functional video card again and is able to work in the editor once more I will push him to try to create a combat engine so I can try to learn from his example. I haven't forgotten my dream to make an ARPG. I have in my head something extremely simple that would make an excellent learning basis, but I need a foundation first. I have to start small. Very small. But I have to start.

My analysis on 2016 concludes two major things. The first is that my lack of a project to divert frustration to when video projects become enraging (FF6) lead to a terrible mental spiral. Menial work was a powerful escape in 2013 and portions of 2014 (Audiobook). Likewise, video projects were once an escapism from frustration involved in that work, but Sc2 was too bitter a cock to swallow, killing my passion in both arenas slowly and surely.

I had planned to create a dev series for this project, and even posted a poll to gather opinions on the subject matter. But OBS is absolutely determined to kill my efforts as much as it can; for every hour of Educational video I have released it has corrupted 10-20 hours of recordings, something that still survives even despite a setup change I thought had fixed it for D&D. The latest loss, an hour of recordings I had spent a day preparing for, stopped the dev video for A-U before it even got out of the gate. I face a difficult decision - try to use OBS despite knowing it will corrupt videos more, use camtasia and suffer an even worse performance hit, cast over the recordings and do no real-time recording, or abandon the dev series before it even begins.

Recording desktop video really shouldn't be some dark art. OBS shouldn't corrupt every audio stream it touches at the slightest provocation. Maybe it's my hardware, especially that shitty asus soundcard, somehow muddying things. Except I can't fix that. I can't do shit.

D&D and similar creative ventures have rekindled my passion for creation, and I have long sought how to best express it. A mod or campaign can't and won't happen. I thought they could, and, six years later, I have nothing to show for it. I can't let the fear of failure continue to rule over my decisions. The tenth year since the darkest day is closing and I can't let the death of the golden era continue to hang over me. 

I am continuing work on Segment 1 of the written format of A-U. I have decided that much. As for whatever will come from Unreal 4, only time will tell. I will balance my learning and exploration workload with my videos once again, and I will try to find my way like I had found it so long ago.

Major releases will likely come in January.  Day-long encode times stalled me quite a lot. Two major compilations (one if Mucky isn't able to get me his source footage) and a major LP. 

I have finally almost entirely caught up on sorting some of my outstanding data from this year and last year. The X drive is finally free of most of the lingering dev recordings, some of which will be useful, most weren't. I discovered I lost the source data for the 2002 Infantry Gunner total conversion as well as DarkOMEN's custom music for it, a painful loss that resulted from the issues with those 3 tb drives in the externals some years ago.

Well. That's that. Here's to hoping.

Saturday, December 10, 2016

ok hand

I have opened a thread on CC to gather feedback on what potential viewers may be interested in for the Apex CGI dev series. You can view it here ->

Although I don't do much with it now, the writing has made small amounts of progress. Nothing major. The stress is just too strong to focus on menial things right now.

I think I recall Schwa or someone telling me Guests can't vote or something. Anonymous posting is available on this blog, so if you have something to add you'd like to add without registering on CC, feel free to post here.

I released Shanktarium season 3, two articles, the way overdue microsegment for DDDA involving the Ur-Dragon, and made some small updates to the Compilations section.

I have been busy working on two major releases that should (hopefully) conclude in this month.

Today was the first day I have seen meaningful snowfall, and snow that didn't melt immediately, in an extremely long time - at least a decade. It has also been unusually cold, up to -8. I also have watched crows dismantle garbage bags like flying chainsaws repeatedly in the last few weeks, including my own. Ugh.

I discovered the Infantry Gunner backups from ~2002 are corrupt, destroying irreplaceable data from my golden era including DarkOMEN's music he made for the project during that time. It is likely these files were corrupted during the short period between the file table disaster and my discovering even separate partitions on the externals corrupted data placed onto them - during copy pasting LP's and some aux data. I thought I had scrubbed out the last of the corrupt bits and otherwise didn't lose much, but this discovery changes that summary to a total goddamn disaster.

As new years and the likely eviction draw closer and closer the stress is mounting more with every passing day. I am really, genuinely terrified of 2017 for so many reasons.

Looks like the D&D groups are falling apart during the holidays so there probably won't be any further releases for a while in that sector.

Wednesday, November 30, 2016


Ok, things have been looking bad for a long time. But they are finally starting to turn around and a lot of bullshit has been in the works for a while and some of it should coalesce in this coming month.

December 2016 is going to see a number of releases. I won't say quite what yet. It's going to be a surprise.

I finally did some of the banner assets I wanted to do for GP for goddamn months and I basically just yolo'd it because I had nothing I wanted to use on hand.

The landlord withheld all the water bills of the year until this month just to blast us with a massive bill at the worst time of the year. Pretty sure she's trying to drive us into bankruptcy as they undoubtedly know we are just barely scraping by on rent (and only because of overdraft). Spells good news for what will undoubtedly be the worst year yet to come.

I've been steadily releasing D&D stuff as it comes on Gameproc without much fanfare. The faseroll video from uub is also in the wow extras section now. I had more stuff planned for the graveyard but I seem to be missing it. I also seem to have lost some of my released files from the W transfer. Clearly didn't pay attention to what was backed up on the aux drive and what wasn't. I can just redownload them when my bumwide cap resets.

Psychologically this year has been an utter trainwreck and my health has plummited in the last months, with what I figured could have either been a stroke or kidney failure incapacitating me for several days and agonizing neck and spinal pain have become the forefront of my troubles since the end of summer. The reward I reap for spending literally the entire year sleeping on the floor. But it felt so comfy...

At least all the cancer scares seem to have petered out into nothing. I also didn't accidentally kill a cat by almost stepping on it. Phew.

December is going to be busy for me and that is a good thing.

As Apex U's writing project has received nearly no feedback I can only assume everyone agrees with me when I say it was a waste of time. So I'm going to go back to the CGI and just try to get done what I can. Just as part of a really complicated and convoluted psycho-analysis I did of my previous years of casting. I don't know what I'm going to do with the writing. I'm still working a little bit on 1.1 for seg 0 but the fate of the other installations remains undecided and that likely means they will die.